When at crossroads of life

Every once in a while I’ve been a junction or crossroads, personally and professionally, and I’ve wondered which route to take.
Sometimes the prospect of immediate gain, be it a job or relationship, has seemed an easier route to instant gratification. But not all short-term gain is desirable and if the end result of the action means deviating from, blurring or losing the larger picture, it’s simply not worth it.So how do you know when to take on a short-term endeavour or which route to take when you come to the fork in the road? My mom had once told me to shut my eyes and visualise a perfect day from the moment my eyes opened in the morning to the time I slept at night when I am 65-years-old. Where do I wake up? Am I in India or abroad? What does my home look like? Who’s in the home with me, a partner, my grown-up children, perhaps my grandchildren? If I have a spouse, what would he be like? What are the qualities in him that I am in tune with and appreciative of, now that the external appeal has diminished? What do I get up and do? Do I have servants or do I make my own breakfast? Do I work, have a hobby, or perhaps involved in social causes? What is my source of income? How do I fill my day? Who are my friends and what do we do together? She told me to visualise that one perfect day to its smallest detail and if the decision I take today in the tiniest way leads to the manifestation of that perfect day and life, it’s the right one to take!
Just a couple of days back I met a guy in my gym and we became friends. We exchanged numbers and since then he has been messaging me constantly. I don’t like this at all. How do I tell him to stop messaging me without hurting him?
You gave him your number with the intention of being friends and then get upset he’s being friendly? I suggest you take at least 15 hours before you reply to any texts and decline the enthusiasm levels by stating you're just too busy with family, work, life and other commitments to be able to respond frequently. Keep your messages short or monosyllabic, polite with no fluff, no great dramatic excuses. He will get the message very quickly.
I am 18-year-old and am in love with this guy from college. We dated for ten months but my parents came to know about it and told me to break up. He’s not from a well-to-do family and if my parents are not happy with the guy I am with, I do not see any point to continue. But I just cannot take him off my head. Should I continue dating him?
I’m glad you are sensible enough at 18 to see the sense in your parents apprehensions regarding him and the implications of such a liaison emotionally, physically and financially. Most importantly, since you have stated that you do not see any point in continuing it, your focus should be academics, a happy family life and to enjoy your teenage years without chaos and unnecessary self-inflicted pressures. Enjoy these years. There are so many wonderful people out there. Do not settle for the first misfit that comes your way.
I am in a relationship with a guy who is a year younger to me but he doesn’t seem to take anything seriously. My parents are fixing my marriage with someone else but I do not wish to do so. Please help me.
Relationships are serious business and I firmly believe age has little to do with maturity. I have met 24-year-olds with uncanny wisdom and depth and in direct contrast 60-year-olds that exhibit practically no signs of maturity or ageing gracefully. When you think of marriage, both partners have to be serious about it and the words stable, loving and well-matched must pop-up. If either is missing in him, give the man a miss. That works both ways, with the man you love and with the man they intend for you to marry.
I am a 17-year-old girl in 12th standard. Due to some problem in my family I feel I am more mature than my counter parts. I cannot maintain a friendship with anyone but I do have a lot of friends around me who think I am orthodox in my thinking because I do not go out and freak out with them. I am more comfortable while talking to guys. I am a little disturbed. Please help.
You’re still in your teens and full of questions and confusion about life, the opposite sex, relationships, etc. First of all, just know it’s normal to be feeling this way. Secondly, I suggest you stop judging yourself and putting yourself in any bracket. This is a stage to simply enjoy being you, enjoy growing, learning, and developing different facets to your personality. It doesn’t matter what people think of you because as you evolve, so will their perceptions of you. Enjoy being who you are and do not be pressured to fit-in and do things that make you uneasy. Do whatever makes you happy and comfortable and whatever comes with a guilt free tag attached.